Monday, May 18, 2009
Last night I was feeling rather fragile & vulnerable. Maybe I am starting to truly unravel? Ha! Maybe. I'm finding that at the end of the day if I haven't taken a little time for myself in the middle of the day, I'm spent. I have nothing left to give. Not even to myself. I started reading one of my favorite blogs which will remain unnamed for this post and she wrote the most beautiful things about her mother and mothering. But for some reason I started feeling inadequate. Lately I've been dealing with the fact that I'm not always as patient and positive as I would like to be. I know I'm a good mother but I thought it would be easier. I thought I would be this positive upbeat force but I find myself being snippy and tired and cranky. Not all the time but more often than I want to be. I can blame it on the fact that I can't remember the last time I had a full night's sleep or the fact that I know I'm not eating the best even though I want to lose weight. Or I'm dealing with stress (or not dealing with stress). But the fact still remains that I need to be more loving. And part of that starts with loving myself. And taking the time for rest. Last night I decided to unwind...I took a bubble bath, read a book, and sipped some hot tea. This morning I got up and decided to visit Proverbs 31 ministries for some encouragement. The verse for the day:
"He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside the still waters, he restores my soul." Psalm 23:2-3 (NIV)
The author, Micca Monda Campbell wrote: "Whenever I think of green pastures, I think of warm summer days when my dad and I would lie down on the soft green grass in the yard. We didn't have a care in the world. We simply rested and discussed the floating clouds hanging in the sky. Perhaps your green pasture is a quiet moment in your favorite chair, a walk on the beach, or curling up in bed with a good book."
Obviously last night my green pasture was a hot bath, a book and tea. I also enjoy a nice walk in the evenings and sometimes just going to bed early. What are some of your green pastures?